I survived Christmas, and all I got was this lousy ____.

Well, it’s over.  The long drawn out Holiday madness that simultaneously gave people “all the feels” and brought out some of the worst behavior in adults since last Christmas (looking at you, racist rant posted on YouTube lady at JC Penney).  We consumed to our heart’s content both food wise and with physical possessions, and now we’ll complain about our pudgy physiques and children who refuse to show gratitude for the rest of the year.  If I was a betting woman I’d say we’re probably not going to change anything and whine when we get the exact same results next year.  Sound about right?  My oldest niece wasn’t freaking out about her fucking Hatchimal, the gift parents were actually printing out apology letters from Santa for (in itself, are you kidding me?  Santa shouldn’t be apologizing for shit – half these kids are assholes and should be getting thrown in Krampus’ sack, not being rewarded for not being brats one month out of the year), because she got so much other stuff.  When I asked her and her siblings if they’d be getting rid of toys they don’t use anymore because of their massive accumulations of new stuff, they looked at me like I had four fucking heads and actually asked, “Why?”  There are children dying in Allepo and Detroit still doesn’t have clean water, but we’re complaining that we all have too much stuff; the ultimate #firstworldproblem.  

I’d like to say we were conscious of it and tried not to buy much for BB, but as parents we failed to take that message to heart for ourselves and attempted to bury our feelings with shit.  

We’re just as guilty as everyone else and it’s nobody’s fault but our own.  But hey, all we can do is try harder and make a conscious effort for next year.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work so I can buy more crap we don’t need. 

Ho ho ho. 


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