I walked a half a mile to spend eleven dollars at a pharmacy, shielding my eyes from the sun. As I trudged back through melting sleet, the once frozen dirt embraced with the sidewalks who bore them as they warmed and spread over the city landscape like honey. A vagrant asked passerbys for a quarter to buy a cup of coffee despite the unseasonable warmth. I complied, praying for good karma as he smiled and thanked me.
Once I got back to work I strolled into the bathroom, trying hard not to run. One, two, three, four, five.
I waited two minutes, fingers tapping impatiently on the back of my phone. Disappointed I waited another two, just in case, my lunch break slowly being eaten away by an invisible ticking clock. I frowned, scowling at the lack of physical presence of it. I dug for the directions in my bag, elbow deep in receipts and junk until I found the box and quickly pulled it out, although I already knew I had done everything right. It’s not rocket science, I scolded myself. Shit, how many times have I done this already in the last year? Dozens, easily.
The unfolding of paper echoed off the bathroom ceiling and old tiles; it reverberated around the ancient stalls when the door opened and someone walked in. Click, click, click, click; her heels tapped past. Click, click, click, click, slam! I stopped all movement and my body turned to marble. My tired eyes read the map spread out in front of me, held by an unwavering grip; its’ directions and visuals became blurred pink nonsense. I looked down at the non-existent line and sighed. The toilet next to me flushed; click, click, click, click.
I know it’s here, buried deep within me. I can feel it and know that I’m different today. My heart is bigger, my will stronger.
I just need to see it soon, before my dreams melt away like the snow outside.